Emo Shan Characters Sing 'Big Ass Rock!
by Bluemoon4Sphinx
Summary: Self explanatory. Very funny! Oneshot.


ME: I just had to do this. XD

Bastet: Hikari… This disturbs me.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters, the song, or even the plot line. I OWN NOTHING. Got it?

**Warning**: Rated for Language, and violent descriptions. Oh, and Insanity.

**Steve Needs A Big Ass Rock!**

Steve sighed gently. He had been feeling horrible lately; a major side affect of his bipolarisum. He… he just wanted to DIE! 'Eh,' he thought to himself, 'Just the disease talking.' Then again, those blades in his pocket did seem rather appealing…

"Sir?" Gannen questioned, noticing his master's discomfort. Steve turns to Gannen, sitting down beside him.

"Yo." Steve says dully.

"Steve, what's wrong?" Gannen asks, concerned.

"Nothing; I… I've just been feeling oddly emo lately." Small smirk. "Kinda' like you." Gannen's eyes brightened.

"Really? Yay!" He shouted, pulling up his master (who was confused at Gannen's sudden mood swing) and dragging him off somewhere.

"Gannen! Where are you taking-…!" He stopped as they came to a small room, where Gannen immediately through open the door. Inside were four people, two vampires and two vampaneze, who had apparently been having a boring conversation before Gannen barged in. Steve recognized them; Kurda, a Vampire who conversed with his kind, Cyrus, Kurda's gay, fine-ass mate, Glada, a vampaneze friend of Kurda's and a good fighter, and the hook-handed monstrosity that was known as RV. They were all dressed in black.

"Guess what!" Gannen shouted to them excitedly, even though they were only a few feet away. "This is Steve; he's Emo!"

(A/N: This was before Kurda died, before they knew Steve was lord of the vampaneze. Well, Gannen knew, but you get the idea…XD)

"Hi Steve!" They all shouted in unison. Freaky.

"So," said Glada, "you want to die, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so..." Steve twitched nervously, "but I'm not sure I can do it."

"Sure you can!" Shouted Kurda happily, and then grumbled. " It's just finding a way to do it that's the hard part…"

Steve turned to Gannen. "Got any suggestions?"

"Well…." Then he did something Steve never thought he would do. He sang!

Gannen: Let's find a rock;  
I mean a big-ass rock!  
Or maybe something like  
a cinder block is better;  
I'll hoist it up,  
and drop it on your face, my buddy!

And just before the lights go out  
You'll see my smile and you'll know  
You've got a friend  
With a rock  
Who cares  
I mean a big-ass rock

Kurda: Or rope!  
I got some quality rope!  
Made for a vamp who's devoid of hope  
Like you are, my buddy,  
Stewie-

Steve: Unh, that's Steve.

Kurda: Steve. Right!

Glada:And I won't leave you swinging there,  
Twitching like a fish while you claw the air!  
I'll grab your feet,  
And pal o' mine,  
I'll pull real hard…  
And SNAP!

…your spinal cord.

RV: The world is cold when you're alone,

And they ignore you!  
But don't kill yourself…

Gannen, Cyrus, Kurda and Glada:  
We'll do it for you…  
You've got a friend!

**Speech**

Cyrus: You know, I asked a guy once if he'd mind putting me in a barrel  
and sending me over the falls.  
You know what the son of a bitch said? "Drop dead, asshole."

Glada: People are pricks. I asked this guy to take his arrow gun  
and shoot me with a six-inch stake right through the eye...

Cyrus: What'd he say?

Glada: "I'm low on arrows."

Cyrus: People are selfish pricks!

Kurda: Another time, now get this,  
I just lay down in front of a steam roller and asked the guy just to proceed,  
you know, business as usual, and just squash me like a bug.

Gannen: That's a good way to go, Kur, the ol' bug squash.  
We could tie a plastic laundry bag over his head.

Glada: Naw, that's such a wimp suicide.

RV: I stuck my finger in a socket once. It hurt real bad...but it.. didn't kill me.

Kurda: RV, stay out of this.

(A/N: They've all walked out side now, shocking any vampaneze that happened to hear them singing.)

Steve (who is sick of being ignored, and wants to sing) :  
I've got a friend!  
Like Carole King-  
Or was it Carly Simon  
Used to sing?  
I always get those two confused.  
But anyway -  
I turned around  
And suddenly  
I'm not alone  
It ain't just me  
I'm like a player on the team

All else: Player on our team…

Steve: I'm part of the gang...

All Else: Part of the gang…

Steve: A member of the CLUB!!…

Glada: Ooo! Let's get a club!

Gannen: I like the big-ass rock

Glada: Naw, one good swing and  
I'll clean his clock forever

Kurda: Let gravity do the work!

Glada: It's a man's way to die, Stan.

Kurda: Steve!

Steve: …I've got friends!

All else: Friends who will  
Love you like a maniac  
And lead you like a lamb  
To the rail-road track!  
And tie you down…

Steve: Ooo...  
I've got friends!

All Else :Or dunk your head for two minutes

In a puddle of mud  
Or buy you a drink with  
Some Vampire blood!  
Or dump you in the  
River with a rock-

RV: A big-ass rock.

Gannen: Here's a nice one right over here

Glada: Can I give you a hand with that? It looks heavy.

Gannen: No, Glad.  
It ain't heavy...he's my friend……

Kurda: Come on, group hug!

(In the end, Steve decided not to do it, frustrating anyone who sang the song.)

THE END

* * *

XD Review, PLEASE! 


End file.
